The next part of the story…

Is very difficult for me to tell. The events that follow are extremely painful for me to remember. I hate that the great memories of my past are tainted by what comes next. By refusing to remember the bad, I have forgotten a lot of the good. But, I assure you, there was a lot of joy, laughter, and love too. 

I have received many messages about leaving the story hanging…I have not written a chapter in a while. I need to tell my story. I need to let go of the pain so I can move forward. I want a life without the weight of the past influencing my future.

But I know what comes next…

The other day I was looking through a box of memories. I found the last birthday card that Larry gave to me. And the last letter, it was half-written, never finished.

Letting in the curiosity…

For the first time, I have looked into the current lives of the people from my past. I looked them up on Facebook. It never occurred to me before. To peer into the life that they have built for themselves. It never occurred to me that they existed in the present.

I was afraid to look into their world. I was afraid that they would somehow know that I was spying…that they would pull me back in.

Surprisingly, it did not hurt, there was no blinding flash of pain. What a revelation.

Maybe by telling the story, I am truly Letting Go…

The story will continue, but the chapters may not come as quickly as before. The writing is simple, the remembering is very difficult. But I want to let go of the pain and shame, so I can move on. I am realizing that telling my story is not a betrayal of the past or those in it. I am not telling it so I can erase it, change it, or alter it.

At 45 years old I have realized that I can start over. I can repaint my life canvas anyway that I choose. I do not have to allow the past to have control over my future. I can choose.

And I choose JOY and LOVE. I choose LIFE!!!

Did you miss the Beginning?

Read the whole the story….